If You Give a Pug a Peanut

Inspired by the works of Laura Numeroff.


If You Give A Pug A Pretzel

If you give a pug a pretzel she’ll want some mustard for dipping.  

Except that she can’t dip a pretzel so she’ll eat the pretzel and then the mustard.  

When she’s done eating the mustard she’ll be all yellow, so you’ll need to give her a bath.  

You’ll get out the shampoo and fill up the bathtub, but she’ll run away because she doesn’t like baths.  

When she runs away, she’ll run out the door and into the neighbor’s yard where she will find a tomato plant.  

She’ll eat all the tomatoes off the plant and that’s when you’ll catch her and hook her on a leash.  

When she’s hooked on the leash, she’ll want to go for a walk.  So you’ll take her for a walk around the block.  

She’ll see an enormous, growling, drooling german shepard and begin to bark furiously to protect you.  You’ll have to tug her the other way and go back home.  

When you get back home, she’ll feel sick to her stomach from all the tomatoes so you’ll have to put her in bed.  She’ll ask you to rub her tummy.  

While you’re rubbing her tummy she’ll really relax.  Her tongue will hang out of her mouth and she’ll fall asleep.  

She snores so loudly, she wakes up.  

You remember the bathtub and tightly hold her while you carry her up the stairs for a bath.  You end up taking a bath with her.  

After the bath you wrap her up in a towel and carry her into the kitchen to let her dry in the sun.  

When you walk into the kitchen she sees the bowl she licked all the mustard out of.  

Seeing the bowl reminds her how hungry she is.  She’ll probably ask you for some more mustard. 

And chances are... she’ll want a pretzel to go with it!

If You Give a Pug a Peanut

If you give a pug a peanut she probably have an allergic reaction.  Her face will swell up and she won’t be able to see.  

You’ll have to rush her to the Veterinary Emergency Room.  The Veterinarian will give her medicine.  

When she can see again she’ll see a pond.  She’ll ask if she can go swimming.  You’ll remind her that she doesn’t know how to swim but because she’s a pug, she will not listen.  

In the pond she’ll see a fish and jump in after it.  She’ll doggy paddle to keep afloat but you’ll have to jump in after her with all your clothes on.  

After you’ve rescued her from the pond she’ll want some dog treats for extra comfort.  

You’ll have to stop at the store to buy some.  She’ll ask if she can come in and you’ll tell her no because she’s a dog and dogs aren’t allowed in the store.  But because she’s a pug, she will not listen.  

She will hop out of the car, run two big loops in the parking lot, and then run right through the doors and into the grocery store.  

You’ll have to chase after her in the store.  She’s so fast that you can’t find her after she turns a corner.  You’ll have to yell out, “Did you see a pug anywhere?”  

The baker will say, “She went that way” and he’ll point toward the meat counter.  You’ll have to run to the butcher who scowls at you because your pug is licking the floor behind the meat counter.  

She will ask for some meat to go with her dog treats.  You’ll have to buy her a bone from the butcher.  

On your way home she will choke on the bone so you’ll have to take her back to the emergency room.   

The doctor will retrieve the bone.  Then the doctor will give her some more medicine.  And chances are.. if she’s feeling better, she’ll ask for more peanuts!